Five things

I was awakened at 2:30 this morning. I should be used to this after eight years, but it still manages to be jarring.

"Mommy! I dreamed I was being stung by a bee."
"Just a dream, Joe."
"And then I dreamed about the five things you need to do to look good!"
"Well..."
"I don't remember what they were."

Great. Now I'm awake, and I don't even get the five tips on how to look good. I can tell you what's probably not on the list: being awakened at 2:30 AM by a miniature Cosmo writer who's channeling Carl Jung.

His own girlfriend

Tonight when I was lying with Joseph until he fell asleep he asked me, "If you think about the past, and it's a flashback, then when you think about the future, is it a flash forward?"
And I said, "People can't know the future."*
"Well," he said, "I think I know one thing in the future, that Christi (the girl who became his girlfriend just last week) and I might get married later."
"I think you're going to have lots of girlfriends before you get married," I said.
"Cody is always asking me if I have a girlfriend, and so is Peyton," he said.
"Oh, so is that why you wanted a girlfriend?"
"Yeah, I really wanted one. And if I hadn't gotten one, I was gonna ask for one for my birthday."

*Note: I'm actually one of those people who wants to believe in phenomena like precognition, but in the interest of going the fuck to sleep I lied about it.